The Day Before "Doomsday"

Well tomorrow's supposedly the day of Rapture.   At least according to a select group of die hard Evangelical Christians and Harold Camping: the doomsday predictor who's already been proven wrong before (when he predicted the world would end in 1994 and well... we're all still here).  Frankly, people have been wrong about the date since Jesus' time. 
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/06/competition-for-when-the-world-will-end/

The sane and rational already know that tomorrow is not the end of the world.  Even the Bible itself says that no man knows the exact date of our doom so I highly doubt the opinions of a crusty old turkey suffering from Alzheimer's.  Just look at him.  


However, that's not the point.  Everyone already knows he's an idiot.  The point is that the people who have bought into this scam; individuals, friends, families and their children, are going to be in for a nasty surprise come tomorrow.  By now, they've spent, given away, or donated everything they've owned to spread "the message".  They've sold their car, belongings, homes, and futures in exchange for a trailer and bunch of cardboard signs.  How are these people going to survive in this economy after willfully bankrupting themselves like that?  How do you bounce back from literally "new gaming"?  


I don't really sympathize with the easily impressionable and stupid but I just feel sorry for the fact that they threw away their lives.  It even looks like this Camping guy actually made money off of this doomsday venue. 
http://money.cnn.com/2011/05/19/news/economy/may-21-end-of-the-world-finances-harold-camping/index.htm

What pains me the most is that the children are the hardest hit victims.  They listen to their mom and dad almost unquestionably (I know I did).  So what happens when your mom and dad says they're selling the house, all your stuff, and going around the country to preach about the end of the world?  You have no choice. How are these parents going to explain to their kids on May 22 that they were wrong?  By saying "Oh sorry honey, we made a mistake and we don't have anything except our little caravan and a now worthless prediction.  Our bad"?   


You know, nice job Mr. Camping.  You've managed to somehow cram a little extra slime into your already wasted life.  You're literally on the precipice of your natural life and yet, you're not satisfied.    Don't people like you just retire and vacation or something?  Go para sailing or sky diving.  But no.  "Hey, I think I'll go ahead and make myself look like the biggest douche in the world.  I absolutely need to put more black marks on my soul by misleading all these families." You, along with all your followers are going to be the laughing stocks of the world in a mere 24 hours.  Good job.  


And I already know what's going to happen once the 22nd hits.  Mr. Camping will probably go on and on about "Oh, I might have made a small miscalculation in my bogus Biblenometry, sorry about that".  Well, that's all good and all but not so for the families still holding the signs.  Now they got to trade those in for 12/20/2012 signs.  I pray they live long enough to even see that day (not that I believe in that either).  

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Douglas Adams’ “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe” is a rare species in my book collection.  It’s one of the only books to have ever made me laugh.  Normally that’s a cartoons job.  I don’t mean “chuckle” or “wheeze” in a discreet way:  I mean guffaw.  I loved reading this book.  I like parodies, cynicism, sarcasm, and works that compile these things together like The Onion which means that a book overflowing with this sort of stuff really makes my day whenever I get the urge to read something. 

To sum things up, this book was actually a sequel to another cleverly written book by Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”; the aforementioned object is a guide that pops up occasionally in separate chapters as helpful “advice” (purely non-informational tidbits to the protagonists that serve only to amuse the reader).  After the events of the first book; where the main protagonist Arthur Dent – unassumingly average human male, has his home planet destroyed by an alien race called Vogons so that they can build an intergalactic highway.  He goes on an adventure with his friend Ford Prefect – an alien from a planet near Betelgeuse who pretended to be human and owner of a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (which effectively contains a crude Wikipedia article on practically everything in the Universe from the common to the obscure), Zaphod Beeblebrox – a hedonistic and narcissistic two headed three armed Betelgeusian alien/Galactic President, Trillian –Zaphod’s girlfriend and mathematician, and Marvin – a generally insufferable robot who’s uncharismatic, constantly depressed, and paranoid, due to him having a “prototype human personality.  In their journey through space, they discovered that the answer to the Universe’s greatest question was 42 and that Arthur’s home planet, Earth was actually commissioned and bought by mice so that they could figure out what exactly was the big question that accompanied the answer 42 (being that Earth was actually a mechanism thought up by the mice’s great computer Deep Thought, that would have gradually revealed the great question amongst it’s native inhabitants within give or take 8 million years).

Immediately after the events of the first book, our intrepid question seeking heroes are under heavy fire by a Vogon ship.  When all seems lost, Zaphod conjures his ancestor, Zaphod the 4^th (It’s backwards thanks to a mishap with a time traveling descendant) who transports them away right after heavy lecturing of his great great great grandson.  Zaphod and Marvin are apparently the only survivors of their instant transport as the others (and their ship) are nowhere to be seen.  The former then decides to seek out the person with actual “power” - Zarniwoop, since his position as Galactic President (ex) was merely just a figurehead.  To find him he goes through a torture device called the Total Perspective Vortex (which liquefies it’s victims brain by revealing to it the Universe in it’s entirety) and he emerges unscathed and with the belief that he did so because he is the most important thing in the Universe (the explanation for how he survived was that he was actually in a fake Universe built specifically for him).  He finds Zarniwoop and he finds out that his ship was actually shrunk to the size of a pea and hidden in his shirt pocket along with everybody else.  They are transported to the nearest restaurant Milliways; The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (in terms of space.  It’s actually 576,000,000,000 years into the future in the same exact location).  After a hilarious encounter with a talking cow and rock star feigning death (for tax purposes), the dynamic team is separated by their teleporter once again with Zarniwoop, Zaphod and Trillian off to find the person who’s “really really really” in charge and Arthur and Ford on prehistoric Earth (which was conveniently rebuilt).  Zarniwoop finds the Ruler of the Universe who is in fact an old hermit who lives alone with his cat.  He doesn’t believe in anything, even his own cat and refuses (or perhaps unable) to see the weight and value of his position.  Arthur and Ford on the other hand discover that the human race was actually descended from bumbling tourists from another planet which meant that Arthur did not have the “great question” locked in his subconscious (as evident by him randomly pulling out scrabble letters to spell “What do you get when you multiply six by nine”). 

Obviously, the premise of Adam’s novel is just insane after discounting all notions that this is sci-fi comedy book.  Thus the only really believable character is Arthur since he’s gotten over that “Ohmigoshmyplanetsbeendestroyed” phase in the first book already and he acts pretty much like any Average Joe would in the face of situations like he’s presented with in the second book (at least in my opinion).  He doesn’t have a second head or a third arm, he’s not manic, and though he does tend to freak out sometimes when in danger of death (like anyone else would), he is a man of simple tastes.  In fact, at the beginning of the book, the only reason why their ship is unable to defend against the Vogons is because the ship was expending all it’s resources on trying to make a regular cup of tea for Arthur; which he previously asked for since he missed his home.  He’s the most normal out of the group with Trillian coming at a close second.  A trend I noticed in the book was that there’s always something up with a new character; not necessarily a flaw but a quirk of some kind.  There’s Ford and his ridiculous guide, Zaphod and everything about him, the Ruler of the Universe and his apathy/unawareness of everything, Marvin and his extreme depression, and other side characters like Hotblack Desiato who refuses to speak not because he’s mute but because he’s actually dead to avoid paying taxes. 

By making these outrageously eccentric characters, it’s really easy for the author to catch my attention.  Unoriginal, cliché, and uninspired characters tend to bore me so these types of people really add a breath of fresh air; especially when a new character shows up every other chapter or so.  There’s also the way that Adam’s writes, which is satirical to the point that it makes fun of almost everything in the book; implying something is ridiculous even though the characters in the book regard it as truth and are not aware of how stupid something actually is.  For example, the namesake of the book is just absurd.  A restaurant that capitalizes on the end of the Universe?  They even mention the other restaurant which markets the other end of the Universe; the big bang.    The most interesting tidbits of the book come in the form of small stand alone chapters which provide extra detail on a current situation or some kind of background information.  They normally begin with “According to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy…” and serve as actual pages from the guide.  Even though they’re fairly useless and provide nothing of informational value to the characters (as if a third grader went to town on a Wikipedia page on microeconomics) I like the way that it ends up insulting some poor alien race or element on it’s stupidity, looks, or for being a misfit.  

There were some scenes which stood out to me, and they weren’t even all that important to the plot.  They did make me laugh though and I promise you that if you read this, you’d laugh too.  One of the funniest scenes was when the group arrives at the restaurant Milliways and order the Dish of the Day.  It turns out that this dish is a talking cow bred to invite people to eat it so they get into a rather uncomfortable conversation with it (at least for Arthur).  He actually considers going vegan and orders a green salad instead of succumbing to the cow’s promises of a sumptuous flank steak by “exercising it and eating plenty of grain”.  The cow even admonishes his order by saying that he’s spoken to the vegetables and claims that they don’t want to be part of a salad much less eaten all together.   When the cow receives all their orders, it actually says “I’ll just nip off and shoot myself” and makes a point to add in “I’ll be very humane.” just for Arthur.

Another particular scene that had me laughing was when Zarniwoop and Zaphod come upon a run down shack to find the ruler of the Universe who just turns out to be an old curmudgeon who lives alone with his cat.  He’s so unaware of everything that he doesn’t believe anything exists outside of his personal bubble (1 foot around him) including his own pet cat which he dubiously calls “The Lord” much to the confusion of the duo when they ask if he believes in a god.  The sheer unlikelihood that “the grandmaster”, the “big cheese”, the “overlord”, being an old man combined with the fact that he does not acknowledge the notion that his actions affect the entire Universe – the great big giant thing so big that being compared next to it can kill you; just struck an odd note with me. 

The final scene that I found witty in probably the simplest way possible was a scene where Arthur tries to rationalize eating potentially poisoned fruit to Dent by comparing it to the Adam and Eve story.  Of course, since Dent is a foreign visitor, he summarizes the entire story in an overly simplistic and possibly offensive way (at least to Christians).  He does this by implying God is an idiot for putting an apple in the middle of a garden with two people saying “Do what you want but don’t eat this apple”.  The way he describes God catching them (God leaps from behind a shrub and says “Gotcha”) was unexpected but is what cemented this image firmly in my brain. 

(Which is what God probably said after catching Eve eating the damn apple.)

I wouldn’t change anything about this book but if I really wanted to, I would add in more chapters with the Hitchhikers guide speaking.  Those are always a treat.  I did notice that the chapters were used to provide background information on completely imaginary objects (to the real world) I remember that in the first book, it had a little more entries on real day to day items like towels for example.  I think a satirical spin on cats or limousines would have been really “informative”.  After all, if the first book had the guide explaining how a towel could be used as a wipe, towel, shelter, scratching post, and offensive weapon when moistened, I think Adams could have done the same with other random items that were in this book. 

(Semiautomatic AND an effective weapon?  No.)

After reading this book, I had a variety of thoughts flying around my brain.  The first thing is that I discovered that Arthur did not contain the matrix necessary to decipher the answer to the Universe and Everything in between (42).  An important thing I also realized was that the real Universe is located in one’s own mind (as evident by the seemingly bat-crazy Ruler of the Universe).  I slept on it a little while and I realized that out of all the characters in the series, he was the only one content with his life.  All he had was his cat “The Lord”, his shack, and the constantly raining micro-planet he inhabited.  He didn’t constantly search for something like any of the other characters.  All he did was feed his cat old leftover fish and figure out that you can use a pencil and paper together to write unlike the other characters who constantly searched for a higher power, a restaurant, or tea.   

(He's pretty much this guy.)

As for recommending this book to my friends, I think it would really depend on the type of person; somebody who understands satire, irony, and sarcasm in a written form.  They should also be able to handle being insulted by the very book they’re reading (which is rare and very subtle).  Thus, I would ask a person that I knew shared humor similar to mine and I would not even dream of presenting it to someone who didn’t get complicated jokes (British humor).  I’m pretty sure most of the stuff they talk about would fly over an ordinary persons head even though they don’t even exist.  I found plenty of made up jargon that would turn off the average low attention span yobo that schools tend to have so I also don’t think it should be prime reading material in most classes.  I think it should serve a more recreational purpose though that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be used in class.  It could be used for a variety of purposes such as a reinforcement for lessons in satire (which this novel; nay, the entire series is brimming over the edge with).  Excerpts can be taken out and studied, analyzed, and overanalyzed so that the full meaning of the passage can be taken in full and the guys sitting in the back can finally whip their heads back, laugh in an obnoxious manner, and say “I get it!”.  

Aloha Showcase 2011

I really liked this performances, er... series of performances.  All these different groups coming together to form a densely packed show; some of them good, some kind of corny and hard on the ears,  most were spectacular to the point that it put a smile on my face - rare for me in a play.  I saw plays, dance numbers, singing, and slam poetry, all which did exactly what the performance promised to deliver, a showcase that peacocked the multi talented students in the performing arts at Kaimuki.  Instead of spouting the praises I would normally do so for regular performances, I'm just going to condense it into a list in the style of the hand out I received at the auditorium in the order that I saw them.  

"The Club is Alive"

Music & Lyrics by JLS

- KHS Creative Dance Class 

This was done at the Aloha Assembly and when it first started with it's red/black contrasting backdrop, with the shadow of the dancers and the crimson of the backstage, everybody cheered.  That was exactly how I felt about it.  

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"

Music & Lyrics by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards

-KHS Vocalz

Not much to say.  I liked the message though there was this one grating voice in the back.  I forgot his name.  

"To Sympathy and Devils Alike"

-Slam Poetry: Samson Tafolo

*I loved this peformance.  In all honesty, I loved all the slam poets performances.  They were sharp, biting, witty, funny, satirical, and overall, just really great stuff.  It's too bad I can't look it up on youtube being that it's an original work.  

"K School"

Music by Shinee, f(x), 2NEI

- Choreographed and Danced by Stacy Swinehart, Vivica Nguyen, Tiana Kono

It's the same group from the talent show but completely different routine.  There was no singing involved which I appreciate as the former talent show performance was a little lacking thanks it's inclusion.  This one was a different story.  It had dancing in three parts; each member with her own unique song and dance number.  They come together at the end and though there's this one part which to me makes almost no sense choreographically (They do the same move for a good 13 seconds) they were in sync.  That's what counts.  B (Since I take off a full grade for coming from a hyper conservative Asian family.  My god.  Their outfits and the way they were dancing...). 

"Vahine Ori Opu"

Choreographed and Danced by Naomi Baldomero

It's Pacific Islander dancing. I know almost nothing about it.  My mom had a lot to say and she said this "She danced like a pro."  

"Favorite DJ"

Music & Lyrics by Auburn & Clinton Sparks

Choreographed & Danced by Ricardo Martinez

Thought it was going to be lame at first.  Dead wrong.  Modern Dancing

"The Fear"

Written by Jasmine Yamamoto

Directed by Jasmine Yamamoto & Rikki Jo Hickey

- Advanced Acting Class

A short play about a 21 year old "boy" (a homeschooled brat) coming to terms with the fact that he's not as mature as he thinks he is by having an adventure with his shadow.  It's sweet.  

"Forget You"

Music by Cee Lo Green

- Vocalz

Forgettable if it wasn't for the performers.  They really added something into it.  

"Lost in the Wilderness"

Music & Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

- Robert Piamon

This was my least favorite. Grating. 

"So Close"

Music & Lyrics by John McLaughlin

- Samuel Tafolo 

Danced by Natasha Fehn & Victor DeMarco

I didn't like the song but I liked the way it was sung.  The waltzing couple on the side was a nice touch.  

----Intermission---- (Pretty early for an intermission.  It wasn't even halfway I believe.)

"Rolling in the Deep"

ML by Adele Adkins

- Vocalz

Same as other Vocalz performances.  Nothing really stuck out aside from the two guitar, piano, and tambourine accompaniment.  

"And I Will Follow"

ML by Jason Robert Brown

-Taylor Silva & Robert Piamon

Silva : great voice. 

"Brothers"

Written & Performed by Samson Tafolo and Henry Kaholi III

*.  My feelings for this performance are the same as the other one by Samson.  It's intelligently written, cleverly acted out, and it's just really funny.  The audience was roaring.  

"Purotu No Te Hura"

C & D by Naomi Baldomero

Another dance by Naomi.  This time my mom said "She really looks like she should be a part of those professional hula groups".  

"Little Class of Bashaw's"

Music by Alan Menken & Howard Ashman

Directed by Samuel Tafolo & Kia Kekoa

It's a parody of Little Shop of Horrors and those familliar with Samuels performance with the aforementioned play should love this one.  This time it centers around the very real teacher at Kaimuki and the not very real way she treats her students.  It's funny.  

"Fly Away"

Music & Lyrics by S. Alan & Stephanie J. Block

- Kyla Anderson, Alaura Ward, & Alexandra Lanning.  

Two words.  Kyla Anderson.  

"Smash Into You"

Music & Lyrics by T. Harrel, Beyonce Knowles, T. Nash, C. Stewart

- Dwayne Sakaguchi

What can I say?  It won an award.  

"Imagination"

Music by Chris Brown & Michael Jackson (Billie Jean)

- Poasa Aga and Rodney Phung

Known around school for being incredibly talented at dancing, they've joined forces and songs modern and old to make an enjoyable piece.  The red light show at the beginning was really spot on.  

"I Wanna Dance With Somebody"

Music & Lyrics by G. Merrill & S. Rubicon (Whitney Houston)

- Anette Aga

Anette makes her triumphant return in a song that delivers.  It was a load of fun especially with the cast members from other performances pitching in to dance.  The audience roared and thundered.  

"Who Are You"

Written by CK2

- Candice Kiyabu & Chelsey Koma

I think it's a comedy.  I'm not really sure.  It's just weird.  A girl waits a bus stop for the bus to show up (It doesn't) while having to deal with a green guy that constantly steals and defaces public property.  He's also mute apparently.  

"The Language of Love"

ML by Cee Lo Green

- Creative Dance Class

I remember this from a pep rally I think.  I can't really remember but it's still a great dance routine.  Too bad a certain person wasn't in it.  (Diep... ಠ_ಠ)

"Wedding Dress"

ML by One Republic, Missy Elliot, Fatman Scoop, Ciara, Taeyang, Kevin Lien

- Ricardo Martinez

Ricardo dances yet again though this time with a lot more songs while wearing a white mask.  It's incredible the way he can incorporate so many different styles into his performance. And it fits the music. 

"Candles"

Music by The Warblers

-Royce R. Okazaki

Some kind of flag waving skit.  It's really interesting to look at it.  Flag changes, throws, tosses, and recoveries.  It's different but good. 

"Once On This Island" Medley

ML by S. Flaherty & L. Ahrens

Choreographed by Samuel Tafolo

-Vocalz

The finale was quite good.  I think they tried to go for a slow decline in action with most of the kickers in the middle to 3/4 of the entire thing.  If so, then I think this was a great "We're at the end of the show so let's say a happy good bye" kind of thing.   

Noise Pollution

Coming from Honolulu, Hawaii, there's always this one little problem that just happens to seep it's way into my casual, everyday life.  It's noise.  It's not the volume on my I-pod (since I don't have one - take that you stone age uptight soccer moms), it's the constant rush of traffic I hear outside my window.  Now with the relatively large population/landmass ratio we have here, everywhere you go, it's guaranteed you'll hear the unmistakable sound of cars whizzing by on the highway, the slipstream of big city buses overtaking the little minivans, and the constant "murr" the roadway makes as the wheels of these vehicles make constant contact.  On and on, it goes into the night like a never ending record player but without a record to read.  It gives off that same exact sigh though with the occasional "k-dunk" when a low rider goes a little too fast and hits the ground when trying to get up onto the ramp into the interstate.  

Now when I went to places like Disney World and Washington DC, I can honestly say that those were the quietest nights of my life.  Sitting straight up in my hotel chair, straining to catch even the faintest sound, the familiar little hum of the road, but I could hear nothing but my relatives in the next room watching the news.  It was a completely new and foreign experience for me, having never been far from the sound of an automobile, especially when we all went to bed. It was quiet.  For possibly the first time in my life, it was as if every sound wave in the room just took out a razor and committed suicide.  Really, it was an alien feeling, seeing as how I've never actually been someplace so far from the main road (like my aunt and uncles home in DC).  

Wishing to make the best out of this new experience, I'd purposely stay awake at night at my aunt's and uncle's room for a couple minutes just to get the full effect.  I'd watch movies and mute them (with subtitles on) and just watch with the lights off.  I'd play video games with the volume turned to the lowest setting.  Save for the occasional family pulling into the neighborhood and the rare little drip from the bathroom sink, I felt like I was in a void.  I could hear almost anything; the hum of the television, the leaf-less trees swaying with every slight breeze outside, even the squirrels in those same trees chittering to their fellow brethren.  

Needless to say, I'm back in Hawaii and once again, I'm surrounded by noise at home, at school, at the mall, etc...  It's tolerable for now, but later on when I choose a home for myself, I'll keep the notion of silence ready in hand.